My perspective on this is that heterosexual people need to be understanding. If a heterosexual woman is in the bathroom with a lesbian woman (who has male-like qualities/chooses to dress in masculine clothing), the heterosexual woman should be respectful, even if they aren’t sure if the other person is actually a woman. The heterosexual woman should just shut up entirely, because if it were actually a man in the women’s restroom, once he saw another woman, he would be utterly embarrassed and would exit the bathroom immediately (unless he was there for violent reasons).
So in a nutshell, just be quiet and polite. There’s no need for an LGBT person to have to “prove” that they’re a man or a woman in order to use the restroom. That is just ridiculous. Just respect the people around you and be polite to everyone you see, then we wouldn’t have this issue where LGBT members feel it necessary to conform for others to feel comfortable.
Totally agree that LGBTQ+ should be respected like any other human being. It’s really hard for people to understand since queer identities are still not being taught in many health classes.
Sometimes it’s not necessarily a verbal check. Sometimes it’s shown in action. That double checking of the sign, like the “double take”. Or, stares. Cisgender people do not necessarily intend to offend when they do that. It’s understandable when cisgender people want to make sure they are in the right toilet or have never come across a queer person before. However, this makes the queer person in the toilet feel uncomfortable, like they do not belong there, or they’ve caused an inconvenience to the others.
In terms of dress, it’s not just lesbians who dress like that, though it is a commonly held misconception. People who were born female but dress like that might just be queer and not lesbian. People who dress like that could be bisexual or even asexual. A transgender man might look like that if their breast reconstruction surgery was not complete and have to wear layers of clothing just to pass as male then enter the male toilet, even if it was a hot day. Also, even if a transgender man passed as male in appearance, if they accidentally speak by accident when their voice isn’t changed in a male toilet, the cismales would turn around and they’ll probably think the transgender person shouldn’t be there.
Also, there’s that sign, showing females as people wearing dresses when that is not the case anymore.
Hence why we think that our university campus needs more unisex and gender-neutral toilets. That way, queer people don’t have to feel like they need to do this.
yeah, you’re totally right about not just lesbians dressing that way- it was just my form of example.
I think they haven’t created many unisex restrooms (besides the unisex restrooms created for one-person use) is because of the rape culture in today’s society, especially in America. unfortunately, rape is still a huge fear for many women (as well for men). and a unisex bathroom could possibly make it easier for the rapists to commit the crimes.
Thing we advocate for here is to have unisex/gender-neutral toilets built alongside the gendered ones, not the complete elimination of gendered toilets. Our university has never decided to eliminate all gendered toilets either. They just agreed to add unisex/gender-neutral ones. If people feel more secure in a gendered toilet, they have every right to keep it and keep using it.
oh I was not aware of the specific goals, I was just throwing the thought out there.
I totally agree 100%. there should be gender neutral rest rooms in all locations.
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