After I shaved my hair and got fed up with being stared at in female toilets, I started going to the male toilets. It was a different experience, since I had not been to the toilet of the opposite sex before. I decided to post a status on going into the male toilets for the first time. I remember the first comment being whether or not I had seen their private parts. So, let me address that fundamental misconception here, publicly. I wasn’t going there because I wanted to look at something different; I was going there because I didn’t want people to stare at me.
At first, I got used to it and thought I had found the solution, but it didn’t take long before I realised I was wrong. As any UNSW student would probably know, buildings are the most populated have ground-level toilets. The more easily accessible they are, the more crowded or dirty they’d be. I was in a hurry, so I just walked into the crowded male toilets. I couldn’t use the urinals, but the people in the cubicles were taking too long. So, I decided to walk out. Then, I did something I should not have done: I spoke. I spoke when I almost bumped into someone on my way out and said “sorry”. Normally, apologizing would be the right thing to do, but it made everyone realise I was not born male. Although I was on my way out anyway, I could sense the awkwardly tense atmosphere. No one would think I said so because I walked into the wrong toilet, since I was in there for quite a while before I decided to walk out.
Since then, I realised I either had to force myself to cope with stares from females, or walk into less crowded male toilets even when I desperately need to go to the toilet. Going to toilets was no longer easy and comfortable as it should be, which was really unfair for a queer person like me.
Did you read the previous chapter about what happens when a queer person born female walks into a female toilet? Find out here.